The Simply Shifted Life

Photo courtesy of Modernblonde.com

My sister thought I was angry. I was far from angry. I know my anger. I was tired, done, ready, fed up. In fact I read those words recently. Granted they were in the context of a question printed on a large screen in front of hundreds of people. The question was “How fed up are you?” and it was a part of a series of questions, challenges, and recommendations that Tory  Johnson shared as she spoke about her life and her book The Shift.
Granted her shift was her changing her relationship with food and loosing over 70 pounds, but it was a shift, a change, an enough is enough I’m fed up and not only does something have to give it’s going to give life altering, shift. She talked about the frank conversation her boss had with her that generated the shift. She recalled when the unhealthy relationship with food started and how many times she tried to end it. “Trying is not a strategy,” she said.  She asked a few other questions that I took note of  and were the necessary questions to effect change.

Photo courtesy of production team a New Girl

Then I had my own shift. I had my own “Enough is enough I’m fed up and not only does something have to give it’s going to give life altering shift.” And…wait for it… I did something about it! BAM!Oh yeah! I confronted the issue and the people and then as expected things got a little ugly, there were some digs at my personality and decorum, I got accused of being disrespectful, irresponsible, unbiblical, uncaring, and wrong. It was pretty uncomfortable and there were tears. Well I can’t speak for any of the folks I confronted but I had lots of tears. The tears peaked when I was on the trolley headed home. Instead of getting off the trolley, making a left, and walking  three blocks home, I made a right and walked three locks to my church. I sat myself on the porch of my church (no the doors of the church are not always open) and just sobbed. Then I walked home, had a glass of wine, and decided that the confrontation was worth it. It was totally necessary. Furthermore, there wasn’t a nice sweet kind way of saying what I had to say. There was a direct, respectful, state the facts use your mental health background and “I” statements way of saying what I needed to say and that is exactly what I said.
Then something else happened. Slightly unexpected.  The shift kind of spilled over into other things and  I started confronting other stuff.  I started really looking at the other things in my life that were  not really in line with the life I am trying to create for myself and confronting those things.
I wasn’t puling out any of the stops. I drafted and had my proposal, which felt more like a defense,  for my title change and promotion at work written and proof read. I started the process for one of the biggest commitments in my life (no I didn’t propose to a guy)- buying a house. By starting the process I mean house tours with the realtor, got pre-approved for a mortgage, ran the numbers for the ideal monthly mortgage, and working out the whole putting in an offer. I even had that necessary talk you sometimes have to have with yourself when your like 92% sure that a guy you like and says likes you back just isn’t really that interested in you and you should spend your time, energy, and affection elsewhere talk with myself. Yup, west coast boo is a wrap.

Photo courtersy of LeadingLadies.com

Finally I maintained the shift I started a few weeks ago when I shared on the blog that it took one of my friends saying I need better friends for me to realize I need better friends. That has actually been awesome. I think a few friends have been a little surprised and uncomfortable expecting me to cheat on my boundaries with them, but nope, boundaries still in place.
There has been a shift in my life and things are still shifting. The settling hasn’t come. I haven’t completely found my stride. I am confident that it will come and as Tory shared, I just have to “Embrace patience and celebrate small victories.” I think it was here way of saying “One day at a time.”
I know it’s the holiday season. In the US holidays usually go something like Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Years. They all entail list making. Thanksgiving is usually more of grocery list making. Hanukkah and Christmas usually entail  gift list making. New Years usually involves list making but usually for things to change. I don’t think you have to wait until January 1st to make  a list of things to change. I don’t think you have to wait for a new year to make an addendum to your life. I do however think if you want to resolve to make a shift in your life you start now-right now. You ask yourself how fed up are you. You ask yourself if you deserve more and do you deserve it enough to go after it, to do whatever it takes to shake things up. I was hoping when I confronted people in my life recently that I would only be rocking the boat, but I sunk that baby. Yet no one drowned. A few made it back to shore and a few are still floating in the sea of “I can’t believe she’s fed up and how dare she change.”

Photo courtesy of Vogue Magazine US

This week I want to ask you to think about what needs to shift in your life. Ask yourself how fed up are you and remind yourself trying is not a strategy! Don’t be afraid of sinking the boat, sitting on porches or wherever else and sobbing, realizing that a guy or girl is not into you enough to put in effort (but you can also have really nice talks with really sweet guys who are wiling to put in the effort. Yes this really happens, wink wink), or whatever else frightens you about shifting.
Tory Johnson was supper glad she stopped using food to meet emotional needs. And I am super glad, even though as I write this people are still pissed, that I started shifting my life by saying what needed to be said and confronting that which I needed to confront.

Photo courtesy of Vogue Spain

Oh, and if during your shift you need a little support, let me know.
 I am happy to be your SS (shift supporter). 
 xxoo

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