|Photo courtesy of Vogue Netherlands and Getty Images|
“The French aren’t rude. We think that over here but their not. They’re just private you know. And it’s okay to be private.”
“You being you will make some people feel ashamed. They will want to lay claim to how well you are doing in spite of all the wrong they have done to you. Everyone is not worthy of who you are and what you have to offer and you don’t have to feel guilty about that Ahyana.”
Every now and then I have the privilege of engaging in life changing conversations. This week I hit the jackpot. I had not one, but two. See the above quotes as my “winnings.”
|Photo courtesy of Terry Richardson for Vogue Paris|
Sunday I had the privilege of being in my own world, for it to be slightly interrupted by a tall handsome stranger. There was no exchanging of names, numbers, or what we “do.” I really loved that. I love when we can talk about who people are, what they are passionate about, and if they are doing that passion and share that- sweet. But my goodness our jobs or what we “do” does not define us. Back to the handsome stranger and conversation.
While we didn’t talk about what we did, we did talk about what we enjoy including traveling. He shared he recently went to France for a month to visit his sister and her family. He smiled and his eyes sparkled as he recalled the trip and the culture. He shared he’s been working on his French as he will be returning to France in the summer. ass he talked about the culture He shared that the French were a private people. They know when and who to let in as well as when and with whom to seek to be let in by.
|Photo courtesy of W.Heart|
A few days later I was sitting on one of my favorite sofas. A small ivory speckled linen one. On that faces a blue chair which hosts my counselor Jen. We talked about a myriad of things including my upcoming move and family dynamics. I talked to her about the whole housewarming deal and that well, quite frankly there were just certain family members I did not want to invite. Yet, to keep the peace I was entertaining extending them an invitation. However, 30 minutes later I was still talking about why I didn’t want them present. There was just so much negativity, pride, denial, and bitterness these family members hoarded. They were miserable and the thought of inviting miserable complaining never satisfied people into my home and for something joyous no less was nauseating.
That’s when Jen shared the second quote above, and her words about people being worthy stuck. In fact they stuck so much so I called my brother aka my new roommate and told him, housewarming on and the family members he was not even going to entertain inviting were not invited. They were not getting a pass because we shared some similar DNA. They weren’t worthy. Better yet, I was worth a night of not monitoring how much nastiness was leaking out into our new space.
|Photo courtesy of Emma Summerton|
Those conversations reminded me that people do need to work for relationship in my life. Every Tom Dick and Harry, Gina, Tina, and Tasha, Grandmom, auntie, and cousin are not worthy of the A.King package because they don’t know or care about the worth of the A.King package. They are not entitled to all that I have to offer because they want it. I have the right to be private and not share everything with everyone. You have the right to be private and not share everything with everyone (As an aside, if you are in an unsafe or unhealthy situation, please please, PLEASE consider not keeping that private). And for my Christians, Jesus was NOT a doormat. He did NOT let people treat him any ol kind of way in the name of love, compassion, or anything else. So what were aren’t going to do is call putting up with garbage or being guilted into telling all about your life for the sake of people offering their opinion as fact or law, being a good Christian.
The root word of worthy is worth. Worth means to have value. I have value and therefore should be treated as such. You have value and should be treated as such. When we don’t know and honor our value our worth , then we allow folks in our lives that are not worthy.
My hope for you this week is that you walk in the stride of your worthiness. You hold your head up high and strut your worthy stuff. Let the haters hate and only engage those who can appreciate. xxoo