The Simply En Route Life…NO ETA Needed

Photo courtesy of Fashion Foie Gras.com

I have spent a good portion of my weekend moving into my new space. Opening boxes, flattening boxes, hanging clothes, folding clothes, lining up shoes, lining up pictures. You get the idea. Yet, here I am Monday talking about an en route life. Perhaps because by weeks end I will be en route to San Francisco (does going to west coast dance). Perhaps because during the past few months it has been abundantly clear that is the story of my life, and maybe life in general. Always en route, becoming, discovering, transitioning, ebbing and flowing, never truly finished.

As a clinician I know this all too well. The whole counseling thing is a process. It is walking people through the process of understanding, coping, stopping, starting, forgiving, caring, reclaiming.  I meet with my clients multiple times because we don’t get to create the change they desire in one session. Truth is we don’t really create before termination. We launch it, get it to a point of maintenance, but we don’t finish. We’re, both the client and I,  en route.

Photo courtesy of Vogue Paris

Yet with all of this knowledge, and experience, it truly has taken recent events in my personal and professional life to truly embrace this idea of an en route life. Regardless of what I know, I like things to be finished. I like endings. I like knowing when and where to expect an ending. And while yes some things do end, kindergarten ended, past dating relationships ended, my last job ended, the movie I watched last night ended, some aspect of my life was impacted by the ending and this starts a new beginning. Kindergarten ended and now even with a Master’s degree I am looking at doctoral programs and whether I pursue it or not I’m still learning in and outside the classroom. Yup, the movie ended and I began getting myself together for work the next day. The relationships ended and I began and continue fine-tuning what I want in the next one so no one’s time gets wasted. Last job ended, I took a new one that was better aligned with my gifts and talents. And guess what? When this job ends that’s what I’ll do again. 

So what’s changed in the past few months that has turned my knowing of life being a series of endings and beginnings, thus a process, into believing life truly is one transition after the next, a series of trips with rest stops as opposed to destinations? I’m blaming it on the pace of my life. I’m blaming it on the fact that in order to keep my peace of mind I have simply had to humbly accept life’s ride and get on board for the adventure. Between buying a home, hosting Christmas brunch and keeping my fingers gnarled that it would be drama free, getting a call for an amazing job opportunity, the start of the semester at my current job, a few health changes and challenges, the politics of work and personal relationships that my mind has voted unanimously for me to let go of and my heart has a jury that is still deciding, and the list could go on. With apathy being the non option adjusting my attitude to look at all of the changes as part of the process of this stage of my life proved to be the better option.

Photo courtesy of Vogue

What I am finding as I look at life this way is that I am being a bit more gracious with myself and others. I am finding the things that I once thought were so important and the task that had to be completed are not as important or in need of completion as I once thought. I’m finding I am a little more comfortable with being than doing, and trusting that the things that need to happen will at the right time. I am finding more and more that I am enough in practice and not theory.

I don’t have to get on a plane and fly anywhere to be en route, although I absolutely love flying. I am en route on the regular. You are en route on the regular, and not just when you are picking up the kids, meeting the boo, heading to the meeting, shopping for your contribution to girls night in, or parking in the lot before walking over to the concert venue. You’re en route as you read this. Despite your bottom being planted in your seat, you’re en route. You’re pondering, thinking, considering, re-envisioning, mulling over, processing.

Photo courtesy of Louis Vuitton

The simply en route life is the life that embraces the journey, makes a bedfellow out of the means and winks coyly at the end.  Enjoy being en route this week and no need for an ETA! xxoo

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