|Photo courtesy of Dennis Stock|
A few special people in my life were waiting to hear from me about whether or not I was going to pursue an opportunity to relocate. I’d spoken to them weeks ago about the opportunity and on paper the opportunity seemed all but perfect. And I mean that. It was all but perfect. It was far better than much of what is going on in m life currently, particularly regarding vocation, relationships- romantic or otherwise, and my hopes and dreams. Yet, I knew there was something missing, and this was what kept me for weeks trying to convince myself I needed to take the opportunity.
So I went to visit the new city for a gut check.
As women, we’e supposed to be great at this thing called “women’s intuition.” I don’t really believe that it’s just women who are intuitive. I think we’re just more apt to pay attention to it even if it doesn’t initially seem logical.
I packed my bags, bought my ticket, made lodging accommodations, set up appointments to meet with people living in the area, and before I even boarded the plane from Philadelphia my gut asked “Why are you doing this? This isn’t it.” I needed it to be it and so I overrode my gut and was not wasting the good money I paid to travel.
It was an almost lovely three days. The people, food, sights, places to live were nothing short of amazing. It felt like a breath of fresh air. The fresh air needed for the nauseating ebb and flow of a gut that I was trying to override.
|Photo courtesy of Mallory frantz|
It was about two in the morning on my last day in the city that I woke up and could not get back to sleep. As I laid awake all I could ponder was the same question that came to my mind before my flight took off “Why are you doing this? ” I knew why. Yet my why, knowing that I deserved and needed better than all of my life back east held for me, didn’t ease the “Don’t do this. Hold out for what you really want. Handle your unfinished business back east or you’ll regret this.” that my gut was telling me.
I followed my gut. I cried, mostly because the thought of returning and turning down a wonderfully logical opportunity and having to hope for another wonderfully logical opportunity that my gut would approve just seemed daunting.
I made the calls to those people. Some were elated that I wasn’t relocating. I had to remind them I wasn’t relocating yet, emphasis on yet. Others struggled to understand me not doing what was logical and trading it in for ultimately peace. I mean that’s really what happened. The peace I hadn’t had for weeks, trying to go forward with the move, returned when I decided to return and handle the unfinished business and keep searching for the perfect opportunity as opposed to the logical almost perfect one that would be a lovely escape.
|Photo courtesy of “Why Don’t You Love Me?” video production team|
That’s the job of our guts. They help keep the peace because they help us make the decisions that align with who we know ourselves to be and need in order for us to thrive. Our guts keep us safe, validating our values and personal operating systems, giving us permission to make choices that seem illogical to others but perfectly sane for our well-being.
If I am really honest, I can’t think of a single time my gut misguided me. I can think of a few times I overrode my guy and it cost me. It’s cost me as much as $700.00 and a very unsafe and uncomfortable date with a guy that left me so out of it the next day I almost got hit by a bus the next day as I kept replaying the awful night in my head.
It’s important to grow and respect your gut. It’s imperative that you learn to listen to yourself even when it seems ridiculous. And I mean that. Our guts hold us back from the unsafe and push us forward into the amazing. They tell us to take the risk because we’ve got what it takes and when to slow our role because all of the brains, beauty, and bravery we have won’t overcompensate for the mental misery that we will unleash on our lives if we move forward anyway. Our guts matter because we matter. We matter enough to slowly make decisions, love the crap out of logic and facts, but to respect the intimacy we have with our gut to give it’s voice heeding.
|Photo courtesy of MAC Cosmetics|
If you’re week is anything like mine, you will have ample opportunities to check in with your gut- your you. You will have plenty of times to say “Do I need to make another commitment or honor my tired body and turn this one down?”or “Although I am nervous about pitching this idea at the next staff meeting, my gut says it’ll actually be a good time to do it so I’m going to come prepared to make the pitch.” or “There are a lot of good things about the guy, but he has managed to do every pet peeve of mine, so maybe it’s best that we part ways sooner than later because I don’t see it getting better and some of the pet peeves leave me feeling objectified.”
The more you listen to your gut the bigger it will get, and by bigger I mean stronger it will become. The stronger it becomes the better you will be as you will find yourself making choices that best reflect who you are and who you desire to be. If making decisions with consistent ease and peace of mind isn’t a part of a simply LIVEd life, I don’t know what is. Happy gut growing! xxoo