Can’t LIVE Without…Relationship Maintenance

Relationships don’t maintain themselves, the people in them do. Attending the wedding of a dear friend whom I’ve known for the past 12 years was a sweet reminder of the value of  friendship and how valuing friendship or any relationship requires committing to relationship maintenance. I know it doesn’t sound glamorous but here’s the deal- I can’t LIVE without several of the relationships in my life. Because I am so extremely fortunate to have them I can’t LIVE without giving those relationships some TLC aka relationship maintenance and sharing a few of the ways that I maintain those relationships.

Get Together
There is nothing better than getting together with the people that matter to you. Whether its a brown bag lunch in the park, happy hour, dinner at your place or there’s,  2am diner runs, make time to get together.  One of my friends an I are pros at catching up over various free events and festivals in the city. We are constantly sharing with each other about some invite one of us received to some opening or show and being the other’s plus one.

Photo courtesy of

Celebrate Each Other
Birthdays, weight loss goals, new jobs, getting pregnant, the adoption being approved, leaving the abusive partner, celebrate each other’s successes. Take time to acknowledge the positive developments and milestones in each other’s lives, even if it’s sending an e card.

Photo courtesy Olie Kellet of Getty

Send Cards
Speaking of an e card, send them. Send e cards, cards you picked up from the store, or designed yourself.  Send them just to say hello, to acknowledge a significant moment in the other person’s life, to express gratitude  for the friendship.

Photo courtesy of Fabiane Amoriom as found on

Tell It In A Text
I’m not a huge fan of texting but you know it’s fantastic to receive random thinking of you texts, or memes that ignite laughter, or member when texts that make it seem like me and that person are in the same space at the same time reliving some ridiculous, amusing, or amazing moment.

Photo courtesy of James Devaney for Wire images

Call And Say You Care
My friend Rob is  so good at this. He is really great at picking up the phone and  calling to see how I am doing or to sing me a lullaby (true story) when I am having trouble sleeping. I am not so awesome at calling people but I am getting better. Sometimes I will even set up phone dates. Yup, scheduled time wit h a particular friend where we can expect to talk, usually and easily for over an hour, and catch up and share what’s going on. The friend whose wedding I attended- I last saw her almost two years ago, but our last phone date was a week before wedding, and we text pretty frequently.

Photo courtesy of Candy Aw12 Magazine

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