“Everything isn’t for everybody,” I told myself perplexed by the events that had just taken place. I couldn’t wrap my head around the behavior and I knew it was behavior that was so not me. “Don’t judge,” I told myself. Then I let that one go cause we, I and you, judge all the time. All. The. Time. “Maybe I’m old or it was how was raised,“ I thought and that was why the behavior seemed so strange and confusing to me. Then I circled back to “Everything isn’t for everybody.” And trust me, what I observed, sure enough was not for this body.
A few days later shortly after listening to a podcast I called a friend to recommend it to her. I was going on and on about how great the podcast was. It was spot on for things I’d been pondering, praying, and journaling about. I found it both convicting and comforting, insightful yet strangely reminiscent of a conversation my friend and I had three springs ago when I was taking a walk down one of my favorite endlessly winding roads while still living in the pacific northwest.
Her enthusiasm did not match mine. Like wasn’t even close. Like I could have said I found a five legged puppy or a dress that was a little snug on me a few months back now fits flatteringly well again and I would have heard the same lack of enthusiasm. She listened patiently, threw in an occasionally “Oh okay” or “Mmm. Mhm.” She even offered an “I see.” To which internally I was like “Um but do you really though?” I thought she must be distracted. But I could tell she wasn’t, mostly because I have gotten good at being able to tell when she is. She was really listening. I just didn’t understand her lack of excitement about my experience, my revelation, my reminder that the prayers prayed and thoughts pondered, had not gone unnoticed or unheard. I called her to share what I thought was a great experience and recommended the podcast so that she could experience similarly. Yet it didn’t seem like she was headed down the road to my experience, because the reality is, it was my experience and everything isn’t for everybody.
It’s not uncommon to hear me say that “Sharing is caring,” or “Teamwork makes the dream work.” I’m a believer in “Better together”, and a fierce fighter against misery loving company when it should be joy and happiness and all things positive that loves lots of company. I write this blog because I refuse to believe I’m the only person rocking this planet with the thoughts, experiences, disappointments, joys, ponderings, strivings, successes, or need for reminders to keep going and that I get to choose even when circumstances in life strongly suggest otherwise. I love me some me, but I also have a huge soft spot for some we.
What I’m learning however is that some things in life are meant just for me. Some things aren’t meant for sharing and that doesn’t make me less caring. Sometimes it’s a party of one situation and that doesn’t make me any less team oriented or deter from the goal at hand. There are times that things will resonate with me so strongly because it is truly a response to something that I have been seeking insight about. There are parts of the journey in life that are not meant to be shared, that aren’t a bus trip, girl’s weekend, staff retreat, coupes seminar, family reunion. Nope, it’s a narrow path in a strange land, sometimes with just enough room for me to inhale and hold my breath for safe passage.
Furthermore, if we don’t learn to identify those me, myself, and I moments, we hijack our journey, delay arrival to our destiny, pitch a tent on the periphery of our purpose. We waste time trying to get folks to board a kayak for one, swearing it’s a cruise liner. We linger with our backpacks on waiting for folks to pack theirs, to join us, on a trip whose itinerary was set for just us. We forgo getting started, continuing, or even finishing different jaunts during the journey because since they were so positively life changing, we can’t bear the thought of not having others join in. We thoroughly enjoyed the shrimp linguini that we buy some for them, waiting impatiently for them to eat it, not realizing they have an allergy to shrimp and what we found to be extremely delicious will kill them. Everything is not for everybody. We give up time, perspective, progress, peace, joy, and so many other things when we don’t take a moment to discern if this is a moment that is meant for us and us alone, or for others. Sometimes there are seasons in our lives that are intently and intensely just for us. The same way there are things we only learn about ourselves in context and connection of others, there are some things we can only discover, experience, love, or change unless it’s just us.
My hope for you this week is that you pick up on what’s meant for you and you alone, and that you treasure that, hold onto it, be selfish with it. It was meant for you. May you begin to come to peace with the fact that there are some things that aren’t meant for you to share, and you need not feel guilty about that. Take the love notes, lessons, and reminders offered to you this week and make sure you acknowledge that the sender sent it you- not you and your partner, you and bae, you and your family, you and your staff, you and your bff, but you. The moment , revelation, podcast, etc. was addressed to you. Open it, enjoy it, live into it.