I slightly stumbled into Friday this week. Honestly I think almost half of yesterday I thought was Friday. And then suddenly, after a few meetings, a pizza party, trouble breathing laughter courtesy of my 5 year old east coast nephew, and a great call from a friend back in Maryland- here I am, here we are, Friday and a few of the joys that got me here this week.
The Bold and the Beautiful
I was amid unsubscribing from way too many emails courtesy of me always wishin’ and hopin’ to win some contest that I don’t win when I came across this article courtesy of The Cut about extending some good lovin’ and grace to our bodies. Their are some powerful words in here, but my favorite were the following by Serena Williams
“I love my body, and I would never change anything about it. I’m not asking you to like my body. I’m just asking you to let me be me. Because I’m going to influence a girl who does look like me, and I want her to feel good about herself.”
I’m loving that last line in particular. It resonates with me and maybe even convicts me to keep going in all of my endeavors for the girls who look like, think like, feel like me so they can know that they aren’t alone, they’re amazing, and they can do it (whatever their “it” is) just like me.
I’m thrilled with the fact that since Sunday Social Media has not known what to do with itself between Beyonce and Collin Kaepernick using their personal power and influence to draw attention to social injustice. Bey brought special members of her hive to the VMAs- the mothers of many of many of the men behind the pro life movement Black Lives Matter. While Collin Kaepernick decided to sit out the pledge of allegiance because the words just didn’t ring true for our struggling to be United States of America. I’ve seen some of the comments, mostly from naysayers, and a lot of questioning if such actions matter. They do. You’ve had more athletes across the national sports leagues here standing in solidarity with a league infamous in the US for being particularly discriminatory compered to its counterparts. And you had a stage of beautiful Black and Brown women and girls standing through pain and in solidarity because of someone who saw them and took a moment to elevate them. And as a former counselor I’ve spent years reminding my clients that it is the deliberate acts using personal power that effects change, inspires, and motivates.
A few weeks ago I shared that I recently became a regular reader/follower/listener of Chrystal Evans Hurst. So much so that Monday nights have been reserved as drinking tea and listening to her pod cast before I head to bed. This week she answered a series of questions folks sent her on social media about living a life you love, including a question about friendships and reciprocity. My ears perked up. I’d been struggling in the friends department. Not so much in making new friends, but in allowing the nature of previous ones to just be. So when she shared that it’s okay to
1. Find new friends, 2. Accept that at different stages in life some friends won’t be able to give what you need or want and that’s for you to manage in terms of expectations and being gracious to understand that they may be giving you their best given what’s going on in their life 3. Sometimes because of who you are you just have been gifted with a relational gift that allows you to pour into others at way many people just are not, but manage that gift so you also spend time pouring into yourself–
I felt relieved. I had been having a hard time being comfortable with finding new friends, friends who were closer to life stages as I am. I was also struggling with accepting that my capacity to give and invest in friendships the way I do is not the norm, yet the same way I am willing to invest in others I can do that and need to do that for me. So if you get a chance and want to give the podcast a listen, just grab your coffee or cocktail and click here.